What If You Have Lost Your Purity?
While it is true that in the eyes of God a sexual sin is no different than any other sin, it is a transgression of the law of God. However, sexual sins also have a unique aspect to them. Sexual sins can create a unique set of penalties that remain with you for the rest of your life. Unlike stealing, for example, the memories of a sexual sin will taint your relationship with your spouse. Sexual sins can also eliminate your qualification for certain aspects of the ministry. These sins destroy homes and lives. Since you can never completely recover from a sexual sin, what can you do if you have already committed the sin?
Acknowledge your sin to God. Confess it. 1 John 1:9 says, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” The idea of confession throughout the Word of God is two-part. Confession involves an agreement with God that what you have done (the sin) is wrong. After all, if you haven’t done anything wrong, why do you need forgiveness? Second, confession involves repentance. While we often think of repentance as the guilt associated with sin or as doing something to make up for the sin like a type of punishment, neither is true. Repentance is actually a turning away from the path — literally, to think differently. So, when you confess your sins to God, you agree with Him that they are wrong and you turn from the sins.
You should also find a prayer and accountability partner. Although you do not need to reveal all of the sordid details, you need to find a prayer partner and let him in on the secret. This may be a parent or your youth pastor, but it should be someone you know would not gossip about you. James 5:16 gives us the example here: “Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.” By taking your problem to someone else, you now have someone else who is praying for you, as well as someone who can keep you accountable.
You also need to commit your future dating relationship to the Lord. After you have confessed your sins to God, and repented of them, you need to seek the will of God in your dating relationship. It is likely that you simply are not ready to begin dating. As we have discussed earlier, dating is simply a process for confirming whom the Lord has chosen for you as a spouse. You need to submit yourself to God’s will in this matter. This may mean that you do not date for several years. You should even consider breaking all relationships with anyone of the opposite sex. This way, you can simply avoid any temptation to sin by not being around anyone who can cause you to sin.
Finally, you need to take some steps to prevent this mistake from happening again. After you have confessed your sins, you need to cleanse your thought life. Philippians 4:8 has the key to this: “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.” You should memorize this verse, and once you have committed this verse to memory, use it as a filter for every thought you have. When an illicit thought comes to mind, run that thought through the filter of Philippians 4:8 and see what comes through. Another passage to consider is Psalms 19:14, “Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer.” You should rely heavily on the Word of God. Memorizing Scripture is the most valuable tool we have in our arsenal. Psalm 119:11 (“Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee”) explains in a simple way how we can avoid sin. If we look at the example Jesus set for us when He was tempted by Satan, we see that in every case, Jesus responded simply with the Word of God. Now, it was certainly within Jesus’ power to speak and destroy Satan, or to speak and cast Satan away. Despite this, Jesus chose to use the same tool that we have at our disposal – the Word of God. If you know you have certain problems, memorize verses that are specific to those problems. Some examples are below:
Matthew 5:27-28: “Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.”
James 4:7-8: “Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded.”
Psalms 19:14: “Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer.”
Isaiah 26:3: “Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.”
Psalms 119:11: “ Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee.”
Another thing to consider is your music. While it is true that you can commit a sin while listening to Handel’s Messiah, it is not likely that the Halleluiah Chorus is going to stimulate your flesh into such a way as to cause you to sin. There are, however, certain types of music that will do this. Even music that claims to be Christian can stimulate your flesh and cause you to sin. Music cannot be separated from the flesh. It is my opinion that before he fell, Satan was in charge of the music in Heaven. Even if this were not true, Satan uses music as a very powerful influence in our lives. If you study some of the music of pagan tribes, you will see that it is the music itself that causes the tribesmen to enter into trance-like states. Some have described certain types of contemporary music as hypnotic as well. There is no doubt that most popular or contemporary music is designed to bring about carnal desires. Knowing this, you should flee from these types of music.
You also need to wait on the Lord. This may be one of the hardest things to do. We are all impatient. We want what we want when we want it, and companionship is no different. But in this area, as in every other area of our lives, we are commanded to wait on the Lord. God has promised to provide for all of our needs. This promise to provide for our needs also means that he will provide for our need of companionship as well – we need to rely on the Lord to provide for this need as we do for any other needs.
Psalms 27:14 “Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.”
Psalms 37:34 “Wait on the LORD, and keep his way, and he shall exalt thee to inherit the land: when the wicked are cut off, thou shalt see it.”